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2019 Emmys
This was a bad, bad year for the Emmy red carpet. There were some other true horrors that I could have included but I didn't want to overwhelm the Heinous list.
Either the shoulders on this gown on Mandy Moore slipped down or that is industrial strength boob tape. The sleeves are also strange from the back.
Susan Kalechi Wilson should have resisted adding pink beribboned balloons to an otherwise okay red column dress.
Zoe Kazan all wrapped up to be delivered to the lucky gift recipient.
Nice fit on Marisa Tomei but I'm not sure at her age I'd go for that high a slit and is anyone else wondering what would happen if you undid the knots at the shoulder and waist?
Taraji P Henson in sheer bedroom drapes with a mini miniskirt underneath, and a wide bodice gap that shows her boob sweat.
Isla Fisher might be wearing pleated aluminum foil but it's flattering pleated aluminum foil.
This schizophrenic outfit on Maisie Williams goes a long hem-length too far: would have worked better if the designer had been slightly less intent on making the contrast. Should have stopped at the different designs and the subtle different bra-like shoulder straps. Great shoes, though.
I like the design of this dress on Jodie Comer but I'm mystified why you wouldn't wear hose with this, both to firm up the tummy and make the bruising on your leg less noticeable. Also wish it were another color.
Amy Poehler looks like she's dressed for a cross-gender version of the YMCA video.
I could maybe deal with the pantsuit on Angela Bassett but the top looks like when you poke a hole through a grocery bag for an emergency rain poncho.
Kerry Washington forgot her sparkly tuxedo jacket to go over her ruffled shirt.
Samantha Bee shows how to wear pants to an awards event.
If you look closely at Amy Adams you can see that this dress actually fits her but it still looks like she took Grandma's dress and slit the center seam of the bodice. The color is too dull to be a flattering brown, which would normally be a good color on her, and her severe hairstyle doesn't help.
I'm all for pockets, Janet Mock, but not in a form-fitting velvet gown, and the crumpled Halloween trash bags at the shoulder and train don't help either. Shame, this color is great on her.
Her stylist did not do Julia Louis-Dreyfus any favors: this gold wrapping paper gown makes her look squat and shapeless, and her flat hairdo doesn't help. Great earrings and shoes, though.
I am sure I'm not the only person who wants to yank the left side of this bodice on Jamilla Jamil so it sits straight. (And, while I'm at it, remove a couple of yards of fabric from the skirt.)
I actually looked up the pregnancy status of Julia Garner when I saw this asymmetric gown: not sure why you'd emphasize a pooch belly with not only tight-fitting pleated chiffon but a cut-out that points right to it. (I was much more forgiving when my research turned up the stunning gown she wore to the Met Gala.)
Jenny McCarthy looks like she got ready early for the Hell's Angels after party.
Either Indya Moore has really oddly placed nipples or the "bodice" of this sexy Halloween toga was actually made for someone about three inches taller.
Have to give GoT's Gwendoline Christie props for her successful campaign nominating herself for an Emmy but someone needed to tell her and her billowing cape that the show is over. (She's also sparked some comparisons on Twitter to Pope Francis and his boss.) Some nice Lannister jewelry touches in the bodice and shoulder brooch and some mondo earrings.
This looks like an incomplete proof-of-concept design that should still be on the mannequin rather than on Christina Applegate and the dead color isn't flattering either.
Creative trash-bag origami on Rachel Brosnahan.
Natasha Lyonne gave me bad flashbacks to 1960s bar mitzvahs.
I guess they decided to give Eris Baker an early experience in getting stuck in an ugly pleated chiffon bridesmaid dress and caplet in a deadening color and a style too old for her.
Laverne Cox looks like she's wearing her hat on her shoulder and is at the same time being attacked by a pink furry creature.
"In case of a water landing, the sleeves on this gown on Dascha Planco can be used as a floatation device." (The clinging fabric is not doing her hips any good either.)
Kathryn Newton stars in Big Bird Goes Glam.
Nathalie Emmanuel looks like she's got that black band across her boobs that they use for things like "Girls Gone Wild" videos, and is wearing her thong on the wrong end of her body.
Sorry, Carice van Houten, the Gowns That Look Like Alley Graffiti contest is next door.
I am trying to picture Greta Lee looking at herself in the mirror wearing this slime green airbag concoction that makes her bulge at the waist and thinking "This is my best look."
Given the high "hem" in front and the material, looks like Olivia Culpo just got out of a bath full of loofas.
This tied bodice on Sarah Sutherland looks like the devices they use in movies where heroines have to pretend to be boys, and the waist looks like they haven't finished sewing it. This is really disgraceful.
Worst of the Night: I honestly couldn't choose - there are more that I found that aren't listed that are just as bad as the ones included here.
Nicolaj Coster-Waldau in old-coin gold.
Steven Canals showing that weird cape sleeves aren't just for women.
In this shot of the Queer Eye cast, Tan France is trying a bit too hard.
James Van Der Beek channeling the 1970s (and not in a good way).
Terrence Howard looks like he's trying out for Showboat.
Precocious Parker Bates is starting out young as a fashion plate.
Love the subtle star design in this suit on Charlie Barnett.
Had to show the fabulousness of Emmy winner Billy Porter in motion and sparkling in the light.
I went back and forth about this rainbow Cleopatra number on Kirsten Bell but eventually came down on the side of liking it (possibly because it was such a bad night overall :-> )
Emily Hampshire as a blood red rose with an interesting asymmetrical ruffle and good fit. Wish the hairdo was less severe.
Beautiful fit and material on Betty Gilpin but again, no jewelry.
The always stunning Catherine Zeta-Jones in flattering shocking pink and a great fit.
Terrific overall look on Joey King: good color on her, the waist pleats are interesting, good fit, and nice tousled hairdo. Interesting from the back as well. However, another outfit that would have been improved by a necklace and maybe some bracelets.
Runner-up for Best of the Night: Ava DuVernay in a beautifully detailed pale yellow chiffon with an interesting high neck bodice and a great fit (and pockets!).
Best of the Night: Regina King in flattering pleated chiffon with an interesting halter bodice and metallic ribbon harness (clearer in the back) and great hair and earrings.
Pink and Red Parade
A trend of which I was previously blissfully unaware.Either the shoulders on this gown on Mandy Moore slipped down or that is industrial strength boob tape. The sleeves are also strange from the back.
Susan Kalechi Wilson should have resisted adding pink beribboned balloons to an otherwise okay red column dress.
Zoe Kazan all wrapped up to be delivered to the lucky gift recipient.
Nice fit on Marisa Tomei but I'm not sure at her age I'd go for that high a slit and is anyone else wondering what would happen if you undid the knots at the shoulder and waist?
Taraji P Henson in sheer bedroom drapes with a mini miniskirt underneath, and a wide bodice gap that shows her boob sweat.
Almost
This daring outfit is a great color and terrific fit on Zendaya but more appropriate for the Grammys than the Emmys.
Isla Fisher might be wearing pleated aluminum foil but it's flattering pleated aluminum foil.
This schizophrenic outfit on Maisie Williams goes a long hem-length too far: would have worked better if the designer had been slightly less intent on making the contrast. Should have stopped at the different designs and the subtle different bra-like shoulder straps. Great shoes, though.
I like the design of this dress on Jodie Comer but I'm mystified why you wouldn't wear hose with this, both to firm up the tummy and make the bruising on your leg less noticeable. Also wish it were another color.
Pantsing
Never seen a train on a pants outfit before but Laura Linney manages it.
Amy Poehler looks like she's dressed for a cross-gender version of the YMCA video.
I could maybe deal with the pantsuit on Angela Bassett but the top looks like when you poke a hole through a grocery bag for an emergency rain poncho.
Kerry Washington forgot her sparkly tuxedo jacket to go over her ruffled shirt.
Samantha Bee shows how to wear pants to an awards event.
Worst Fit/Least Flattering
Sarah Goldberg dressing up in Mommy's clothes. Not one aspect of this gown looks like it actually fits.
If you look closely at Amy Adams you can see that this dress actually fits her but it still looks like she took Grandma's dress and slit the center seam of the bodice. The color is too dull to be a flattering brown, which would normally be a good color on her, and her severe hairstyle doesn't help.
I'm all for pockets, Janet Mock, but not in a form-fitting velvet gown, and the crumpled Halloween trash bags at the shoulder and train don't help either. Shame, this color is great on her.
Her stylist did not do Julia Louis-Dreyfus any favors: this gold wrapping paper gown makes her look squat and shapeless, and her flat hairdo doesn't help. Great earrings and shoes, though.
I am sure I'm not the only person who wants to yank the left side of this bodice on Jamilla Jamil so it sits straight. (And, while I'm at it, remove a couple of yards of fabric from the skirt.)
I actually looked up the pregnancy status of Julia Garner when I saw this asymmetric gown: not sure why you'd emphasize a pooch belly with not only tight-fitting pleated chiffon but a cut-out that points right to it. (I was much more forgiving when my research turned up the stunning gown she wore to the Met Gala.)
Heinous
Looks like you could just yank on the train of this bed-ruffle floral chiffon gown on Lena Headey and unwrap her like a Tootsie Roll.
Jenny McCarthy looks like she got ready early for the Hell's Angels after party.
Either Indya Moore has really oddly placed nipples or the "bodice" of this sexy Halloween toga was actually made for someone about three inches taller.
Have to give GoT's Gwendoline Christie props for her successful campaign nominating herself for an Emmy but someone needed to tell her and her billowing cape that the show is over. (She's also sparked some comparisons on Twitter to Pope Francis and his boss.) Some nice Lannister jewelry touches in the bodice and shoulder brooch and some mondo earrings.
This looks like an incomplete proof-of-concept design that should still be on the mannequin rather than on Christina Applegate and the dead color isn't flattering either.
Creative trash-bag origami on Rachel Brosnahan.
Natasha Lyonne gave me bad flashbacks to 1960s bar mitzvahs.
I guess they decided to give Eris Baker an early experience in getting stuck in an ugly pleated chiffon bridesmaid dress and caplet in a deadening color and a style too old for her.
Laverne Cox looks like she's wearing her hat on her shoulder and is at the same time being attacked by a pink furry creature.
"In case of a water landing, the sleeves on this gown on Dascha Planco can be used as a floatation device." (The clinging fabric is not doing her hips any good either.)
Kathryn Newton stars in Big Bird Goes Glam.
Nathalie Emmanuel looks like she's got that black band across her boobs that they use for things like "Girls Gone Wild" videos, and is wearing her thong on the wrong end of her body.
Sorry, Carice van Houten, the Gowns That Look Like Alley Graffiti contest is next door.
I am trying to picture Greta Lee looking at herself in the mirror wearing this slime green airbag concoction that makes her bulge at the waist and thinking "This is my best look."
Given the high "hem" in front and the material, looks like Olivia Culpo just got out of a bath full of loofas.
This tied bodice on Sarah Sutherland looks like the devices they use in movies where heroines have to pretend to be boys, and the waist looks like they haven't finished sewing it. This is really disgraceful.
Worst of the Night: I honestly couldn't choose - there are more that I found that aren't listed that are just as bad as the ones included here.
Hermanos
RuPaul in flamingo pink.
Nicolaj Coster-Waldau in old-coin gold.
Steven Canals showing that weird cape sleeves aren't just for women.
In this shot of the Queer Eye cast, Tan France is trying a bit too hard.
James Van Der Beek channeling the 1970s (and not in a good way).
Terrence Howard looks like he's trying out for Showboat.
Precocious Parker Bates is starting out young as a fashion plate.
Love the subtle star design in this suit on Charlie Barnett.
Had to show the fabulousness of Emmy winner Billy Porter in motion and sparkling in the light.
Heavenly
Love the material, color, and fit on Anna Chlumsky, and her hairdo, but where's the jewelry that would have made the outfit?
I went back and forth about this rainbow Cleopatra number on Kirsten Bell but eventually came down on the side of liking it (possibly because it was such a bad night overall :-> )
Emily Hampshire as a blood red rose with an interesting asymmetrical ruffle and good fit. Wish the hairdo was less severe.
Beautiful fit and material on Betty Gilpin but again, no jewelry.
The always stunning Catherine Zeta-Jones in flattering shocking pink and a great fit.
Terrific overall look on Joey King: good color on her, the waist pleats are interesting, good fit, and nice tousled hairdo. Interesting from the back as well. However, another outfit that would have been improved by a necklace and maybe some bracelets.
Runner-up for Best of the Night: Ava DuVernay in a beautifully detailed pale yellow chiffon with an interesting high neck bodice and a great fit (and pockets!).
Best of the Night: Regina King in flattering pleated chiffon with an interesting halter bodice and metallic ribbon harness (clearer in the back) and great hair and earrings.
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