"Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections"

Giggles from The Onion, stringing together every post-election cliché known to reportage. Excerpts:

While analysts had been predicting a possible sweep for months, and early exit-poll numbers seemed favorable, politicians reportedly exceeded even their own expectations, gaining an impressive 100 percent of the overall national vote. [snip]

"It looks like politicians are poised to dominate the political discourse of the country for years to come," said analyst Maria Lawson of the Free Enterprise Institute, who as long ago as December of 2004 had picked congressmen to once again take over the House of Representatives. [snip]

Despite fears that the dozens of campaign-finance violations, soft-money misappropriations, infidelity charges, hidden drunk-driving records, and protracted congressional cover-ups leaked just days before the election would hurt their chances, politicians were still elected over non-politicians in every single race. [snip]

"Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections"

Giggles from The Onion, stringing together every post-election cliché known to reportage. Excerpts:

While analysts had been predicting a possible sweep for months, and early exit-poll numbers seemed favorable, politicians reportedly exceeded even their own expectations, gaining an impressive 100 percent of the overall national vote. [snip]

"It looks like politicians are poised to dominate the political discourse of the country for years to come," said analyst Maria Lawson of the Free Enterprise Institute, who as long ago as December of 2004 had picked congressmen to once again take over the House of Representatives. [snip]

Despite fears that the dozens of campaign-finance violations, soft-money misappropriations, infidelity charges, hidden drunk-driving records, and protracted congressional cover-ups leaked just days before the election would hurt their chances, politicians were still elected over non-politicians in every single race. [snip]

Bush/Pelosi

From Bush's speech: "[I]n my first act of bipartisan outreach since the election, I shared with [Congresswoman Pelosi] the names of some Republican interior decorators who can help her pick out the new drapes in her new offices."

Stephen: "I hope that in her first meeting with him behind closed doors, she says, 'Dance for me, monkey boy'"

[BTW, I wonder if McCain is getting out the rope for his promised suicide if the Dems take the Senate...]

Bush/Pelosi

From Bush's speech: "[I]n my first act of bipartisan outreach since the election, I shared with [Congresswoman Pelosi] the names of some Republican interior decorators who can help her pick out the new drapes in her new offices."

Stephen: "I hope that in her first meeting with him behind closed doors, she says, 'Dance for me, monkey boy'"

[BTW, I wonder if McCain is getting out the rope for his promised suicide if the Dems take the Senate...]

"Mommy, Look What I Can Do!"

According to the Daily Mail:

Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

"Mommy, Look What I Can Do!"

According to the Daily Mail:

Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

All Your Congress Are Belong to Us!

AP has just declared that Virginia has gone to Democratic challenger Webb:

Democratic takeover of the Senate is appearing likely after an ongoing canvass of votes in Virginia produced no significant changes in the outcome of the hard-fought race led by Democratic challenger Jim Webb, sources told CNN Wednesday.

Wednesday night, with Webb leading Republican Sen. George Allen by about 7,200 votes and the canvass about half complete, The Associated Press declared Webb the winner. [snip]

A source close to Allen also told CNN that the senator "has no intention of dragging this out."

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

All Your Congress Are Belong to Us!

AP has just declared that Virginia has gone to Democratic challenger Webb:

Democratic takeover of the Senate is appearing likely after an ongoing canvass of votes in Virginia produced no significant changes in the outcome of the hard-fought race led by Democratic challenger Jim Webb, sources told CNN Wednesday.

Wednesday night, with Webb leading Republican Sen. George Allen by about 7,200 votes and the canvass about half complete, The Associated Press declared Webb the winner. [snip]

A source close to Allen also told CNN that the senator "has no intention of dragging this out."

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!